Sunday, May 28, 2006
My Confession
I began writing a full length entry, but at the expense of sounding like a broken record I stopped writing.
It's strange, while I do feel happier about my life, I am still struggling with a certain part. How do I overcome lonliness? I thought I had this part of my life beat. However, slowly but surely I am turning to my old habit; the quick fix of sex. All in the name of wanting affection.
It's scary, because I feel myself fighting against this everyday. I don't want to be who I was a few years ago. I'm welcoming the newness there is in my life, but with this newness came a whole new batch of fresh lonliness. It's more of, I have no one to share my excitment or happiness with.
So, I turn to the old habit of meeting up with an old friend, just for the sake of being wanted. What's disturbing about that is, I may not feel the same way the person feels about me. In a sense, I'm more of the user and the poor unsuspecting fool doesn't even know it.
Nevertheless, I chalk it up to be we are grown and we both have (sexual) needs.
I can be such a phoney at times. I actually hate it.
Being lonely is a very dangerous "place" to be.
Posted by KomplexPhemale ::
1:11 PM ::
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