Monday, July 03, 2006
The Truth About New York
As much as I love going back and forth to New York, it will forever be a sore spot for me. Today my mother's one day trip to New York had reopened a wound I've been trying to cover up since late February. You see, my trip to New York in March was suppose to be about me and my HIM. Yet, HIM let me down. I was hurt about it, perhaps during the trip as I dranked myself silly at the lounge I went to and have no memory of all that took place that evening into the morning. Needless to say, I still had my fun with my cousin, but my HIM......
I don't hear from him anymore and for some reason I'm not bothered by that like I use to be. What I am bothered by is the fact that he will have the same impact he has always had on me, if and when he does reappear in my life. I know that at the sound of his rich baritone voice or being in his presence my tears will silently flow.
Maybe he did both of us a favor by not contacting me anymore. Maybe I helped the process by deleting all of his phone numbers. Maybe we finally stopped the charade. Maybe all of the years we had were wasted. Maybe HIM and all that came with him were just a fragment of my vivid imagination.
That's it!! It was all just a beautiful, wonderful, chemical meltdown, tragic, mysterious, hauntingly false reality.
My HIM doesn't exist.
Posted by KomplexPhemale ::
1:08 AM ::
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